Getting Pregnant Month 3 - First Checkup

i am having slight bleeding for the past 4 days now, and we decided to go for a checkup even though the last GP told me to go only in weeks time. i thought that the bleeding was not a source of concern since i read that it might be due to the embryo implantation to the uterus. however according to the articles that i have read, implantation occurs within a week after conception. my conception date was in early august. i have my doubts there that the bleeding is caused by the implantation.

i decided to go somewhere near this time, also not to a private clinic or medical center but to the community hospital at my place. so the nearest one was Columbia Hospital, Puchong. got myself registered and waited for the female gynae. her name was Dr. Raja.

waited for about half an hour and when finally my turn was up, i felt a little bit nervous. went in and told the doctor that i had some bleeding going on. so she asked me to lie down.

at first when she did the scanning she pointed to me that there was a 2cm fibroid near the sac. there was also a cyst near my ovary of which was not a concern and that it will shrink soon. the sac was still too small to see clearly as she explained that it was still early. so she said that she had to do another type of scan that is much more clearer. i consented to that as i really wanted to know what was going on.

so she probed and probed (it was quite uncomfortable at times) and finally she saw the sac. she showed me the position of the fibroid and the sac of which was very close to each other. then she said that the sac was a little bit deformed though. i was a little bit confused. then she told me to sit down.

so she taught me a little bit of embryo implantation 101. this is the illustration.

okay it does not really look like that but basically my sac was a little bit deformed. the more she explained, the more bad news she gave. the embryo might be unhealthy, and within this few days i might lose it completely, as in i'm going to have a miscarriage. i was in shock and practically shivering. the doc gave me 2 choices on what i should do now. either to have 2 blood tests to confirm the failed pregnancy or wait for another week for the ultra sound scan and see how it goes. if by next week she sees a normal shaped sac and heart beat that means the pregnancy is good to go. but deep in my heart if the embryo was unhealthy in the first place, would it meant that i would have an unhealthy baby? i think at that time i was just too overwhelmed with emotion i did not proceed with the question in mind. how i wish hubby was there. anyway i opted for the second one as in i will wait for nature to take its course and see her again next week.

when i went out, i blindly walked to the cashier and waited. the nurse came back with my appointment card for next tuesday morning. then my name was called and the whole visit cost me rm 115! yipes. even that was not shocking. i was dumb founded literally.

walked out and my mind was racing. what to tell hubby? would i break first or he? i think if he had been with me he would have broken down first, and i would follow suit. i went in the car, switched on the engine and the a/c, but figured that the engine might get too hot if i was in the car too long. switched off. gosh so hot. so i opted for the a/c again instead. then i dialled. i could sense he was anticipating it and was as nervous as me (when i first went in to see the doc). and so i told him but i remained calm and hopeful. after that i went home completely forgetting all my chores. i had no energy (mentally) to be efficient today.

at home i began surfing. just trying to find answers on my whats, whys, hows and whens questions. was it because of the fibroid? but i had it when i was pregnant with angelus, and it actually shrunk. i read that fibroids can interfere with the embryo implantation. yipes. is this whats going on? then went googled miscarriage, and i came on this youtube video.



that was when i broke down.

if this baby really is not meant to be, then i hope God will bring him/her to heaven safely.
and if this baby sail through the first trimester, i pray to God that it will be a healthy one.

so please prayer warriors and all those who are reading this, pray for me and this unborn child of mine to make it through the week.
if the miscarriage happens, pray for strength and courage to be given to both myself and hubby and to all who were anticipating for this baby.

thanks to all for your wishes and words of encouragement.