i am indeed blessed

to come across women who goes through a lot to get pregnant, but yet fail and fail again, makes me feel that i am among those who are blessed. we did tried once and failed once, but to get it right the second time, is indeed a miracle.

i am already in the beginning of my first trimester, a period where i should be resting and not walk too much as we wait for the implantation to the wall of my uterus is done.


however since i have this cough and flu after my trip to indon, i seem to be having mild asthma now and then. whenever i climb up the stairs etc, i will be having shortness of breath and i can feel that my lungs are blocked by phlegm, most probably. also after the flu medicine last night, i was knocked out even though i slept in the afternoon.

and today, i still feel sleepy and a little bit fatigue.

i think this time around i am going on a strict nutritious diet and exercise well so that i do not gain too much of unnecessary kilos. i know breastfeeding would slash those pounds away, but it does not hurt to be a gorgeous pregnant 30 year old mum now isn't it?

so my regime starts now.

we have already gotten names for the babe as well, both for male and female. wowee, the first (by blood) grandchild for the Doss family.

also while i was shopping for some stuff yesterday, i could not help feeling a little bit mortified because here it has been mummy and angelus for 6 years, and now there is another addition to this equation. i feel sort of scared that the bond that i have with son would be minimalised and diverted to this lil person in me. sort of scared of the changes. especially something that i cannot foresee in the future. son means the world to me and he has already shown his intelligence and obedience and compassion and leadership in such a young age. i am just afraid that his little bro/sis might be of different character than him, something that hubby and i cannot handle. sigh..

i think i will end this post with this verse..

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I cant even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

Psalm 139:16–18

i believe that God has set out a course for everyone. i guess i only have to believe in Him and trust in His plans..