I really cannot recall if my nausea was this bad during my first pregnancy. I noticed it now triggers whenever I feel anxious or excited or nervous about something. Oh my. Now I have to be a boring emotionless person in order for my nausea attacks to be in control. Hmmm.. Oh dear.
That leaves me with nothing much to do. Sleep, eat, blog and watch tv. Oh gosh.
But you know la me. Mind over matter is the in thing for hubby and I currently. So I squeeze in a few evening walks now and then, coupled with doing the laundry, cleaning, mild shopping and eating out. I am beginning to lose interest in eating out nowadays also. The level of cleanliness has somehow declined and the pregnancy has alleviated my sense of smell to almost bionically impossible to explain. Uurrgh. Thinking about it does not help either. Ok change of topic.
So what do I do when I am faced with all these challenges.
1. Drink lots of limau (lemon) water or juice.
2. Chew bubble gum
3. Take deep breaths
4. Eat home cooked food (I miss my mummy's cooking and sister's soup)
5. Stop breathing if I see or smell anything remotely disgusting (walk away fast!)
6. Close my eyes (same as no. 5)
7. If I really have to do something disgusting, that is when my mind over matter kicks in. Oh my goodness, that one drains out most of my enery, man!!! Bleeehhh....
8. Sniff Vicks or minyak angin
9. When there is a lot of air in my tummy (like last night - continuously burping out the air), I lie down, put some medicated oil on my tummy and try to push the air out. It almost feels like having gastric, that's why I need the air to go out fast).
10. No gas drinks at all (I learned my lesson already!)
Urrgh.. Mind over matter.. Mind over matter..
Yayyy!! My baby is alive and kicking (not literally, but he/she is there!!)
Went for the 6th week ultra sound scan last Friday. My gosh, the anticipation and nervousness and curiousness was way above us. We were just there hoping for the best and expecting the worst. I was literally on the fence and the only thing that I was hanging on to was my faith in God. I could not hang on to hubby cos I know even though he looks macho and strong outside, inside he is as soft as a puppy's fur when it comes to this kind of stuff. Poor thing.
As you know my bleeding had completely stopped. Thank God for that. The hormone pills that the doc gave really worked and I reckoned it helped healed the amniotic sac. My HCG hormone (the pregnancy hormone) doubled and that was a good sign that I would not be experiencing any miscarriage anytime soon.
So about 15 minutes waiting, we finally got called in. This is it. Please let there be a heart beat. That was all I wanted.
First the normal ultra sound scan. The doc actually had to press really HARD to get a proper look, cos it seems that my uterus is terbalik?? (retro verted). Aiyo. What else can go wrong la? And that was why it was pretty difficult to see the baby. SO again she had to use the TVS which was undoubtedly uncomfortable. Probe, probe, probe.. and there it was. A tiny, teeny micro dot moving left right up down as though it was being poked around. It was my baby's heartbeat, y'all!!!!!
Gosh how I wish I had a camera to record that heartbeat. This survivor, fighter, miracle baby of mine. HI THERE!! Mummy and Dadda is looking at you!! Peek a Boo!
Ok, ok. I know it is just a form of cell and not much of a human being yet, but I think I was just fast forwarding to when we will able to cuddle him/her in our arms. Yipee! A gift from God, it is, and it's growing inside of me. (I do so sound like a first time mum, but it has been 6 years now. I am so excited).
I remembered when I was pregnant with my son, I was so happy. My hair was silky and shiny. I was always a jovial person and there was not much of morning sickness or headaches etc. I was still working that time. I could not stay still. I was always on the go. I had the energy of a horse.
But now ever since the miscarriage scare, I had to tone it down. Besides, just going from the kitchen to my bedroom upstairs leaves me panting for air. I could not even spend 3 hours in a mall without feeling dizzy. I am not sure whether it is the intensity of shopping or maybe too many people or just sometimes some places do not have the right amount of air conditioning. I am not sure which one, but I think all 3 played a part. Can you still believe that a sack of rice that I bought 3 days back is still in the car?? I did not dare to carry it into the house cos I have to go from the back gate and then into the kitchen. My gate is spoiled (darn dog chewed off the wires) so I am stuck. SO the 10kg sack of rice is still in the car. Grrrr. Hubby's outstation and coming back today. Will definitely tell that I just bought the rice today and ask him to carry it in (hee hee.. shhh.)
A little bit off topic, but I got the good news part of my chest. I have also got a picture of the scan of which hubby wanted to laminate and frame it. Well it is his first baby, considering the fact that he skipped the whole infant to toddler years of Angelus. Soo now hubby gets to squirm, cuddle, drool and fuss over his very own little bundle of joy. Really cannot wait for that.
So that is all folks. Next ultra sound would be on the 26th, whereby baby is 8 weeks old!! This time I will definitely bring a digicam!!
yesterday hubby and i decided to go to damansara specialist centre for a second opinion and also bases on the advice of our cousin doctor. according to him this gynae is quite good and very reputable. maybe he can answer some of the questions that i still have.
well basically it was the same as my first visit though. but this doctor brought a little bit more hope to us. he mentioned that there was bleeding around the sac and this was because of me lacking of the HCG hormone which basically helps with the pregnancy. And because of lack of HCG, in turn I am also lacking the hormone progesterone. Progesterone enriches the uterus with a thick lining of blood vessels and capillaries so that it can sustain the growing fetus. Which is why the doctor prescribed me with progesterone pills to be taken twice daily.
i also had a minor blood test done to detemine the levels of HCG in my body. the second test would be in 2 days time. this is to determine whether the pregnancy is viable or not. i should have about 5,000-200,000 mIU/ml of expected HCG levels. also if there is a decrease in HCG levels between the first and second one, then there is something to be worried about.
basically, it is a 50/50 chance to this pregnancy. if it goes to the path that we all want, according to the doc, the baby will be fine (so that answered my first question). also i will still be bleeding a bit while my body is trying to heal the sac. so right now even though i am still bleeding there is a high chance that the pregnancy is still viable.
baby, if you can hear mummy, please be strong and please show us your little heart beat next week on tuesday. mummy and dadda would really like that...
Hi everyone.
It is day 5, and 6 more days to my ultra scan check up, and yes I am still bleeding. Mostly spots actually and I am shit scared.
I am still experiencing some cramps here and there. All I can do now is to pray..
Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I don't concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp.
Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother's milk.
Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
now and always.
Psalm 131
i am having slight bleeding for the past 4 days now, and we decided to go for a checkup even though the last GP told me to go only in weeks time. i thought that the bleeding was not a source of concern since i read that it might be due to the embryo implantation to the uterus. however according to the articles that i have read, implantation occurs within a week after conception. my conception date was in early august. i have my doubts there that the bleeding is caused by the implantation.
i decided to go somewhere near this time, also not to a private clinic or medical center but to the community hospital at my place. so the nearest one was Columbia Hospital, Puchong. got myself registered and waited for the female gynae. her name was Dr. Raja.
waited for about half an hour and when finally my turn was up, i felt a little bit nervous. went in and told the doctor that i had some bleeding going on. so she asked me to lie down.
at first when she did the scanning she pointed to me that there was a 2cm fibroid near the sac. there was also a cyst near my ovary of which was not a concern and that it will shrink soon. the sac was still too small to see clearly as she explained that it was still early. so she said that she had to do another type of scan that is much more clearer. i consented to that as i really wanted to know what was going on.
so she probed and probed (it was quite uncomfortable at times) and finally she saw the sac. she showed me the position of the fibroid and the sac of which was very close to each other. then she said that the sac was a little bit deformed though. i was a little bit confused. then she told me to sit down.
so she taught me a little bit of embryo implantation 101. this is the illustration.
okay it does not really look like that but basically my sac was a little bit deformed. the more she explained, the more bad news she gave. the embryo might be unhealthy, and within this few days i might lose it completely, as in i'm going to have a miscarriage. i was in shock and practically shivering. the doc gave me 2 choices on what i should do now. either to have 2 blood tests to confirm the failed pregnancy or wait for another week for the ultra sound scan and see how it goes. if by next week she sees a normal shaped sac and heart beat that means the pregnancy is good to go. but deep in my heart if the embryo was unhealthy in the first place, would it meant that i would have an unhealthy baby? i think at that time i was just too overwhelmed with emotion i did not proceed with the question in mind. how i wish hubby was there. anyway i opted for the second one as in i will wait for nature to take its course and see her again next week.
when i went out, i blindly walked to the cashier and waited. the nurse came back with my appointment card for next tuesday morning. then my name was called and the whole visit cost me rm 115! yipes. even that was not shocking. i was dumb founded literally.
walked out and my mind was racing. what to tell hubby? would i break first or he? i think if he had been with me he would have broken down first, and i would follow suit. i went in the car, switched on the engine and the a/c, but figured that the engine might get too hot if i was in the car too long. switched off. gosh so hot. so i opted for the a/c again instead. then i dialled. i could sense he was anticipating it and was as nervous as me (when i first went in to see the doc). and so i told him but i remained calm and hopeful. after that i went home completely forgetting all my chores. i had no energy (mentally) to be efficient today.
at home i began surfing. just trying to find answers on my whats, whys, hows and whens questions. was it because of the fibroid? but i had it when i was pregnant with angelus, and it actually shrunk. i read that fibroids can interfere with the embryo implantation. yipes. is this whats going on? then went googled miscarriage, and i came on this youtube video.
that was when i broke down.
if this baby really is not meant to be, then i hope God will bring him/her to heaven safely.
and if this baby sail through the first trimester, i pray to God that it will be a healthy one.
so please prayer warriors and all those who are reading this, pray for me and this unborn child of mine to make it through the week.
if the miscarriage happens, pray for strength and courage to be given to both myself and hubby and to all who were anticipating for this baby.
thanks to all for your wishes and words of encouragement.
